dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
