Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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