I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I deserve this hangover.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
