I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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