Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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