Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
