What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
