I hate your face
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
