Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
