apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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