I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
