..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
