I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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