Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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