She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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