she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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