Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
