I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
