the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
