Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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