I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Randomize
