after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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