Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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