Just fell off a train. Bad.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
