Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
