it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
