It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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