I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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