she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
