The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So much rum. So many feels.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
