I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
