That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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