Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
