This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
