Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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