Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
