I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
