id be glad to
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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