The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
