Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
