Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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