He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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