I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
