He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
