I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
