We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
