fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Everything about him screamed your future.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
