I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
