I accidentally burped into my bong.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
