We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
