why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize