i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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