dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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