if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
