YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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