forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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