Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
