Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
