I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
