Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
