She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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