Kiss
Puke
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
