How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
