Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
