just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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