She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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