I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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