weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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