How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
