we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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