Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
