As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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