Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
