the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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