Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
