looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
