first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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