also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
