with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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