So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
