This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
