I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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