dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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